The good son or daughter…

I don’t think anything had changed my perspective on leading as a pastor as much as being the father of teenagers. That slow, deliberate move from authority to consultant. I’ve always known it but now I feel it: The true reasons why the Bible demands that leaders first be good leaders in their home. It’s simple I know, but some truths hit home and become very poignant.

Growing up in a home where divorce happened early, parenting was a thing I had to fake till I made it, had to read about, watch in my friend’s families, watch leaders wrestle with, feel the loss of, repent in front of my wife and children for, receive grace from God to do.

I had to listen to my mom and dad’s stories about the tools they did or didn’t get from their parents, I had to experience their own wounds and thank them for the perseverance of giving me the love they had while they carried their own hurt and trauma.

If anything proves that God exists it’s that good things can come from such crazyness as what kids experience. Nature doesn’t work like that. It moves from order to disorder, not the other way around.

Be a good son or daughter. Clean up your relationships with your parents. Forgive them from the heart, listen to them, see the gold, feel the weight that was handed down to them, and see how they loved you in the middle of it, thank them, bless them. If you can’t do this then go back to step one: forgive them. Start again.

That’s your power. To manage yourself, redeem the prior generation, spot the gold and take it up a level. It’s a decision to make not a destiny to inherit.

“Slay as many giants as you can in your generation so your kids won’t have to.”

Lorne Tebbutt

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